It was in one of my internship interviews when I was asked ‘Which accomplishment you’re proud of the most?’. I knew the answer immediately: Being a fundraiser for 4 months of summer 2018.
It’s a hard one. I know it. Everybody knows it. The employers instantly acknowledge it at first glance at my resume. There are the fun part and the hard part, like what I’m about to share with you.
1. Facing rejection everyday
Even though I well knew beforehand that not everyone I stopped would respond and give me their time, it stung. ‘Sorry I’m late’. ‘I have to rush now’. Those are the responses that I usually heard. Or even more upfront, ‘I’m not interested’. It was a horrible feeling when people rejected you and ran away as quick as they can and I was stuck where I was facing, with feelings of bitterness and disappointment. Then there’s friends / acquaintances that I accidentally bumped into during my shift. I’ll be honest, it was awkward for me when they saw me in a shiny vest, eagerly approaching and pitching to strangers passing by. It’s a spot of vulnerability when you are literally out there (on the street).
For my first two weeks, I only signed up two donors, both of who were super kind and friendly. I was overstressed and worried as I wanted to do well at my job. Every ‘no’ that I received increased my self-doubt that I was no way capable of doing this. I felt like I could just give up and find something less terrifying and easier where I don’t have to be out there and so vulnerable. But there was something that was not quite right about that idea, because that’s exactly why I started in the first place: to overcome fears of the uncomfort zone.
So I talked to my colleagues to find out if there was something I could do to be better. I browsed the Internet, literally searching for things like ‘How to get people to stop and talk to you’ and ‘Face-to-face fundraiser tips’. During a sit-down with my team leader to improve my performance, he said something that sticks with me until now: It’s what you’re directing your attention to that makes a difference. You can be upset about people being nasty, saying no or you can direct your attention to positive things. That’s why we need a very positive mindset. It’s the yes that matters. So focus your energy on it. There. My very first learning point about being a face-to-face fundraiser: No matter how many ‘No’ you got, it’s the ‘Yes’ that matters, so keep going for it. I found this tremendously useful not only in fundraising but also job hunting. It’s devastating when you are faced with rejections from companies you have applied, but it’s the ‘Yes’ that matters, so keep looking.’
It’s what you’re directing your attention to that makes a difference. You can be upset about people being nasty, saying no or you can direct your attention to positive things. That’s why we need a very positive mindset. It’s the yes that matters. So focus your energy on it.
2. Put yourself out there - yep, out of your comfort zone
Jumped on the bus to get the donor’s signature, then ended up walking back.
Walked along a donor’s in the August rain without an umbrella
Being screamed at in Finnish (now I can be proud of my ignorance of the Finnish language ;) )
That’s a couple of highlights during my four months of being a facer. Some of it may sound scary af, some more crazy, but that’s what this is about: getting out of your comfort zone and experiment to know what works and what does not. Why not approach someone with intimidating appearance and see how it goes? Why not try a new line of greeting? Why not jumped on the bus to get their signature, given that I got a monthly travel card anyway? And by doing this, I learn what works for me. That’s what I took from my coordinator in our training as well, to be yourself and face with who you are is so crucial to achieving the goals.
3. It's all in your mind.
I remembered I suffered a slump in my result in July, which was disappointing and stressful. People say the job is hard for a reason, by the end of the day, you only got your result to show for your effort. At the time, I had a one-to-one meeting with my coordinator as a ‘warning’ about my results in the last two weeks. I felt tired and frustrated. It felt like I had tried so much but there was always something to work on, to worry about. Besides, I honestly didn’t know what happened that impacted my performance.
Being away from home, I usually called my family once every two weeks to keep in touch. At that time, my mom and I happened to talk about how it was back then for us. My mom would wake up around 3 or 4 am in the morning to go to the wholesaler market to carry the produce to resell at our local market. It was usually dark and cold early morning in the day and my mom would put huge bags of vegetables on the back of her scooter and ride a long way to the market, unload and start her day. Then suddenly I was reminded of how hard life was for my family back then, and how my parents had worked hard to overcome the challenges life had for them. What I was struggling with was put into perspective and I decided to give it another try.
It’s when I realized that it was the shining sun that was bothering me. Why? I'm glad you ask. :) Having an Asian background means that I tried to follow the beauty standard of having light, white skin and the fact that I spent four hours everyday burnt by the sun didn’t help. I know it sounds trivial and even nonsensical, especially if you’re from Europe or Western cultures where people are just dying to get their skin tanned. But that’s how cultural differences work, you feel it’s difficult for you to understand why people behave the way they do. Now I found out that it’s my trying to avoid the sun that was getting in the way of my work, what should I do? The sun is obviously there and I obviously had to do my work. But why would I follow the society’s beauty standard at the expense of my job? I mean there is a lot more to beauty than just having bright, glassy skin. And in just three months, there will be no sun (that I can always count on, thanks Finland :D ). So I decided that my tanned, darkened look doesn’t matter now and went ahead doing my job. Could you believe it, that’s how I got my results back.
This is when I realize that most of the times, it’s you who are holding yourself back from overcoming the challenges. Sometimes it can be very subtle like a part of your cultural identity that you’re not conscious of. That’s why I’ve always advocated learning more about yourself, your heritage, physically and mentally. The ability to check in with yourself, learn how your mind reasons and what can impact it is empowering. It enables you to figure what’s causing you fear, anxiety or demotivation and gives you insights into how to overcome it. In the book My Personal MBA which provides practical guidance for those wanting to run their own business, Josh Kaufman actually dedicated one whole chapter to ‘Working with yourself’. If you guys want a brief summary and review, comment below to let me know.
4. Own it
At the end of my working period, I had a sit-down with my coordinator to review my performance. I was asked ‘How did you manage to improve your results?’. I was silent for a few moments and said ' Well, I worked for it’. That’s why I answered it’s the accomplishment I’m most proud of in another interview.
Looking back, I’m so glad that I took the job and made use of every opportunity along the way to learn more about myself and cultivate my resilience. Believe it or not, I felt like I’ve learnt much more just in 4 months than I could possibly have in a year. I guess what’s left to say is that everywhere you go, every road you turn, there will be an obstacle or a challenge awaiting you. Don’t be put off by this, instead, use it as an opportunity to learn something from it. Your efforts, like I always said, will not betray you.
Take care and good luck!
Stay strong and be kind,
Vy.
